Saturday, July 01, 2006
Theories 2
It's the confusing things in life that make a guy just think. Like, why good series always end up becoming stupid franchises? Why do weird people have some sort of fascination with monkeys? Why does everything have to be politically correct? Why is it that whenever I eat cheese my moustache smells bad? These things I can only speculate at. Like question number one, pokemon (both cartoon and game), Suikoden, Mario, final fantasy, and DBZ used to be really cool. That was until the C.R.A.B game syndrome took their lives. In case you don't know, C.R.A.B stands for
crappy Ridiculous And Bench-warmer-for-other-games..... C.R.A.B
what C.R.A.B game syndrome does is make your series that has become really popular suddenly become crappy sell-outs that people in chat rooms and blogs (this one included) complain about but still play it because in their minds and deep subconscious, they have this tiny shimmer of hope that maybe your series will heal it's self of the C.R.A.B game syndrome and become the once popular franchise that they were once before. Now that I think about it, I think its mostly RPGs that become victims of the C.R.A.B game syndrome. I mean until 7, final fantasy used to be fun, and interesting...... Now I'm not a big RPG fan (I've only played like 5), but it just breaks my heart to see a good series go to waste like this..... Oh well. To make sure you don't fall victim to these crappy games I have created a list of things that will indicate if it will take your soul to the deepest parts of the underworld.
Great graphics: if this appears, drop the game, no questions asked. This translates that they made a game that was so crappy, they didn't know what good points there were... So they picked their C to C+ graphics.
Interesting fighting interface: this pretty much means that your characters can do these wacko combo/dual moves that aren't necessary.
lush (or any other adjective that expresses a positive feeling) landscapes: this translates to.... "Look, we spent hundreds of dollars on making this game feel more realistic that we forgot pretty much everything else."
Exclamation points: if any game puts an exclamation point on any of the above (or any other features for that matter) it's a lame game grenade... DO NOT buy this game unless you are absolutely sure this game will be good...... Which it probably won't.
for question 2 and 3.... I just guess monkeys and weird people go together like P.B and J. The answer for question 3 isn't much of an answer so much as it is a complaint. Why, just a couple of weeks ago we got a book for my baby niece. We got her the old lady who swallowed a fly. We all know how the story goes.... Some old lady swallows a fly, then a spider, then a bird, a cat, a dog, a goat, and a horse. Now they changed a few things here, in the end they write "I know an old lady who swallowed a horse... She's dead of course." and when she swallowed a dog it said " I know an old lady who swallowed a dog.... What a hog to swallow a dog." instead of she's dead of course, they put "she's full of course" and something like " what a job to swallowed a dog." ME: what? Hold on a sec, *mumble* *mumble* I know an old lady who... *mumble* dog..... horse... She's full of course? What? What a rip off. This is the "politically correct" old lady who swallowed a fly. Apparently families or these radical right wing lawyers thought that calling an old lady hog for swallowing a dog is some how insulting old, overweight, crazy grannies that's insulting old people, fat people, and mentally challenged people right there. My answer to that.... If I ate 15 steaks and 10 supersized french fries, you would call me a hog and I'm pretty sure that equals the weight of a small dog which is what the old bag ate. What I'm trying to get to is that if someone eats something that is bigger than your head after eating a cat, spider, and fly and has enough room for a goat and horse I'm pretty sure it fits the bill quite nicely for hog, no matter what race, age, religion, defect, or disease you happen to be, imma ganna think your a hog. LAWYER 1: hey Steve, have you read the old lady who swallowed a fly? LAWYER 2: you mean that nursery rhyme about that old retard lady who couldn't control her brain and ate enough animals to make the animal rights activists litch her? LAWYER: 1 that's the one. Did you know that they said that she was a hog for swallowing a dog? LAWYER 2: really? LAWYER 1: and that she died after eating a horse? LAWYER 2: the politically incorrect brigands*!! LAWYER 1: I know!! LAWYER 2: do you know how much moola we could make off of this?! LAWYER 1: $5,000,000, I took the liberty in checking. LAWYER 2: excellent! Wouldn't Cheney be proud!
*brigands, a bandit operating in wild or isolated terrain, usually as a member of a roving band
it's sad that we live in a world where if you draw a picture of a skinny Mexican guy in taco bell, you'll be sued thousands if not millions of dollars and trigger a national crisis that will pop up on every news channel. Did you know McDonald got sued for making their coffee (I kid you not) TOO hot? Really. I mean it. go google it I swear. Really, are people dumb enough to think that coffee is an iced beverage and should be chuged down as such? GUY BEHIND COUNTER: hi welcome to McDonald can I take your order? COSTUMER: yeah I'll take some hash browns, an egg mc muffin, and some coffee.
(guy sits down...) GUY: ahhhhhhh a coffee and a hash brown, what more could one want.. (chugs coffee down) GUY: ....... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! *gasp* *gasp* *gasp*.... HOW DARE THEY MAKE THEIR COFFEE THIS HOT!! I'M GOING TO SUE THESE JERKS TO NEXT SUNDAY!! What, your brain is very small? Your very stupid? Coffee isn't supposed to be hot? I swear, I think if any one had enough common sense in this world, they would SIP the coffee, and know that it's too trashing hot to down like iced tea. It's sad.
this is must singin.... Oh wait I forgot... Last question.... Why whenever I eat cheese my moustache smells bad... Well I think it's because the oils from it stick themselves to the tiny little spears that my moustache hairs have been known to be called and rot there... Simple.... No I'm not crazy.
this is Must singing out.
crappy Ridiculous And Bench-warmer-for-other-games..... C.R.A.B
what C.R.A.B game syndrome does is make your series that has become really popular suddenly become crappy sell-outs that people in chat rooms and blogs (this one included) complain about but still play it because in their minds and deep subconscious, they have this tiny shimmer of hope that maybe your series will heal it's self of the C.R.A.B game syndrome and become the once popular franchise that they were once before. Now that I think about it, I think its mostly RPGs that become victims of the C.R.A.B game syndrome. I mean until 7, final fantasy used to be fun, and interesting...... Now I'm not a big RPG fan (I've only played like 5), but it just breaks my heart to see a good series go to waste like this..... Oh well. To make sure you don't fall victim to these crappy games I have created a list of things that will indicate if it will take your soul to the deepest parts of the underworld.
Great graphics: if this appears, drop the game, no questions asked. This translates that they made a game that was so crappy, they didn't know what good points there were... So they picked their C to C+ graphics.
Interesting fighting interface: this pretty much means that your characters can do these wacko combo/dual moves that aren't necessary.
lush (or any other adjective that expresses a positive feeling) landscapes: this translates to.... "Look, we spent hundreds of dollars on making this game feel more realistic that we forgot pretty much everything else."
Exclamation points: if any game puts an exclamation point on any of the above (or any other features for that matter) it's a lame game grenade... DO NOT buy this game unless you are absolutely sure this game will be good...... Which it probably won't.
for question 2 and 3.... I just guess monkeys and weird people go together like P.B and J. The answer for question 3 isn't much of an answer so much as it is a complaint. Why, just a couple of weeks ago we got a book for my baby niece. We got her the old lady who swallowed a fly. We all know how the story goes.... Some old lady swallows a fly, then a spider, then a bird, a cat, a dog, a goat, and a horse. Now they changed a few things here, in the end they write "I know an old lady who swallowed a horse... She's dead of course." and when she swallowed a dog it said " I know an old lady who swallowed a dog.... What a hog to swallow a dog." instead of she's dead of course, they put "she's full of course" and something like " what a job to swallowed a dog." ME: what? Hold on a sec, *mumble* *mumble* I know an old lady who... *mumble* dog..... horse... She's full of course? What? What a rip off. This is the "politically correct" old lady who swallowed a fly. Apparently families or these radical right wing lawyers thought that calling an old lady hog for swallowing a dog is some how insulting old, overweight, crazy grannies that's insulting old people, fat people, and mentally challenged people right there. My answer to that.... If I ate 15 steaks and 10 supersized french fries, you would call me a hog and I'm pretty sure that equals the weight of a small dog which is what the old bag ate. What I'm trying to get to is that if someone eats something that is bigger than your head after eating a cat, spider, and fly and has enough room for a goat and horse I'm pretty sure it fits the bill quite nicely for hog, no matter what race, age, religion, defect, or disease you happen to be, imma ganna think your a hog. LAWYER 1: hey Steve, have you read the old lady who swallowed a fly? LAWYER 2: you mean that nursery rhyme about that old retard lady who couldn't control her brain and ate enough animals to make the animal rights activists litch her? LAWYER: 1 that's the one. Did you know that they said that she was a hog for swallowing a dog? LAWYER 2: really? LAWYER 1: and that she died after eating a horse? LAWYER 2: the politically incorrect brigands*!! LAWYER 1: I know!! LAWYER 2: do you know how much moola we could make off of this?! LAWYER 1: $5,000,000, I took the liberty in checking. LAWYER 2: excellent! Wouldn't Cheney be proud!
*brigands, a bandit operating in wild or isolated terrain, usually as a member of a roving band
it's sad that we live in a world where if you draw a picture of a skinny Mexican guy in taco bell, you'll be sued thousands if not millions of dollars and trigger a national crisis that will pop up on every news channel. Did you know McDonald got sued for making their coffee (I kid you not) TOO hot? Really. I mean it. go google it I swear. Really, are people dumb enough to think that coffee is an iced beverage and should be chuged down as such? GUY BEHIND COUNTER: hi welcome to McDonald can I take your order? COSTUMER: yeah I'll take some hash browns, an egg mc muffin, and some coffee.
(guy sits down...) GUY: ahhhhhhh a coffee and a hash brown, what more could one want.. (chugs coffee down) GUY: ....... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! *gasp* *gasp* *gasp*.... HOW DARE THEY MAKE THEIR COFFEE THIS HOT!! I'M GOING TO SUE THESE JERKS TO NEXT SUNDAY!! What, your brain is very small? Your very stupid? Coffee isn't supposed to be hot? I swear, I think if any one had enough common sense in this world, they would SIP the coffee, and know that it's too trashing hot to down like iced tea. It's sad.
this is must singin.... Oh wait I forgot... Last question.... Why whenever I eat cheese my moustache smells bad... Well I think it's because the oils from it stick themselves to the tiny little spears that my moustache hairs have been known to be called and rot there... Simple.... No I'm not crazy.
this is Must singing out.
# posted by Mustafa's blog @ 10:24 PM 
