Monday, July 24, 2006
Diving in a bit deeper....
You know that theory I made two posts back about C.R.A.B game syndrome? I've been putting some more thought into it and have now put yet another theory that has been running around my weird, demented head..... Here goes.
have you noticed this? Cause I have. You can tell the difference of a movie or video game made in America or Japan. No I'm not talking about anime. What I am talking about is the ending and what the creators do after the game or movie. Quick, name a Japanese game that didn't go... Hero: "the *insert enemy name here* have breached the walls!" Hero's friend/comic relief guy: "the fortress won't hold under that many *insert enemy name here*!!" Hero: "DANG IT!!!" Hero's friend/comic relief guy: "there's no hope" Mysterious voice: "there is hope." Hero and hero's friend/comic relief guy: GASP *scene cuts out to credits*. Yup the ever so annoying cliff-hanger ending. this is how you can tell if the game or movie was made in America. One thing I have also noticed is how its always the sequels to the big box office hits that do this. Pirates of the Caribbean 2, halo 2, half-life 2. I think it's some sort of new movie or game trend to end your 2nd movie or game as a cliff-hanger. Think about it, if a first movie sucked and it ended as a cliff hanger, would you see the second one? I don't know about you but I would say no. So the creators get around this making their first movie very popular, make a sequel, and end it as a cliff hanger. Now you HAVE to see or play the 3rd one or else your friends will say that the ending was really great and torment you by giving you these little hints like "Ooooh hey Frank, do you remember what happened to John near the end of the movie?" "Oh yes Paul, that was sooooo cool!" THAT is how they suck money off you..... plot-revealer friends.
now this topic isn't saying that American games and movies are trash and we should look to Japan for entertainment, Japan, games and cartoons in general, can be just as bad. If their cartoons are popular they tend to create an ENDLESS series, and if you miss one episode in one of the many looooooooooooong mini series you have no idea what the crap is going on and your friends (probably anime nerds) will say "Hey Chris, do you remember episode 629* (the episode that you missed) where hecto** turns into his zackerene form and defeats vigor?" "Oh yes Stan, that was a great episode! I feel sorry for the guy who missed that!" at this point in time you either stop watching the show altogether (which is highly unlikely if you have already dedicated your life to watch more than 600 dang episodes), continue to watch the crap, or if you're nerdy, watch the show until it reruns and watch the episode that you missed, or if you're REALLY nerdy buy the whole season on DVD and spend 36 hours of your pathetic life watching a stupid anime cartoon and its stupid episodes INCLUDING the one you missed. And it doesn't matter how crappy it gets, you're still ganna watch it.
* trust me when I say this 600 episodes in a anime series is the equivalent of 3 episodes of the super friends. Take Dragon Ball Z that incessant cartoon has been making.... Oh I don't know I would say 100,00 but even that seems flea-sized. And to make matters worse their still going! I think their huge collection of incessant episodes can be credited to their methods of showing you their crap. For example, this what a WHOLE episode will be dedicated to. Gokou: "HAH!!" everyone who is on gokou's side: "ahhh....."*stands there and shakes* "ahhhh....." *stands there and shakes some more* ahh.... *stands there and continues to shakes* (you get the point) Gokou: "haha! Now that I have powered up the super sayin 6,549 I can defeat you whirlpool!!" *15 minute fighting sequence of whirlpool getting his butt kicked* *whirlpool is on the floor about to die* Whirlpool: "uuhhg..." Gokou: "give up whirlpool, you have been defeated." Whirlpool: "uuhhg... heh heh heh heh heh" Gokou: "What?!" whirlpool: "HAHAHAHAHA! YOU CAN NOT DEFEAT ME! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" everyone who is on gokou's side: "ahhh....."*stands there and shakes* "ahhhh....." Now ONE episode was done.... Now throughout the 58 other episodes you get to see this crud repeated over, and over ,and over again, great huh? The way I see it, the Japanese are going to create episodes for their anime until Armageddon. My only hope is that this doesn't happen to you.
** I have a question... WHY IS EVERY CHARACTER IN AN ANIME SERIES NAMED AFTER A REAL-LIFE THING!!!?? I swear if you want to create an anime series of your own just think of an object (it doesn't matter what it is, it could be a unit of measurement, a car, a biome, a fruit, the skies the limit really) that would make a cool name like Decca, avalon, Papua, volt, it doesn't really matter as long as some of the obvious ones are spelled wrong or slightly miss-pronounced like dux, or floora, what-ever you can think of really. Don't worry, the characters image will work its self out if you think of a cool name.
games are a bit different. Although they make only 3 and sometimes 5 games if their lucky, they make them so long and "NEW FEATURED!!" and "TERRIFIC STORY LINED!!" that you say (in the words of the immortal Paul bunion from the movie American tall tales) does this story have a point? Or does it keep going on, and on, and on, and ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon like this stinkin' desert? Unless you are final fantasy which will, from the way their going, will continue to make final fantasy games until judgment day. i.e.... it keeps going on, and on, and on, and oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon like this stinkin' desert.
I think you see where I'm coming from with this, most of today's media is centered around making games, movie and cartoons suck so bad. That we aren't aware that the "man" is sucking our brains out so that we can spend oodles of cash on their products, I think it's because the economy is screwed up.... But then again, this stuff was popping up even before we elected dubya. In conclusion some anime may suck.... but it's the people who contribute to it by watching it that make it suck even more.
this is must signing out.
have you noticed this? Cause I have. You can tell the difference of a movie or video game made in America or Japan. No I'm not talking about anime. What I am talking about is the ending and what the creators do after the game or movie. Quick, name a Japanese game that didn't go... Hero: "the *insert enemy name here* have breached the walls!" Hero's friend/comic relief guy: "the fortress won't hold under that many *insert enemy name here*!!" Hero: "DANG IT!!!" Hero's friend/comic relief guy: "there's no hope" Mysterious voice: "there is hope." Hero and hero's friend/comic relief guy: GASP *scene cuts out to credits*. Yup the ever so annoying cliff-hanger ending. this is how you can tell if the game or movie was made in America. One thing I have also noticed is how its always the sequels to the big box office hits that do this. Pirates of the Caribbean 2, halo 2, half-life 2. I think it's some sort of new movie or game trend to end your 2nd movie or game as a cliff-hanger. Think about it, if a first movie sucked and it ended as a cliff hanger, would you see the second one? I don't know about you but I would say no. So the creators get around this making their first movie very popular, make a sequel, and end it as a cliff hanger. Now you HAVE to see or play the 3rd one or else your friends will say that the ending was really great and torment you by giving you these little hints like "Ooooh hey Frank, do you remember what happened to John near the end of the movie?" "Oh yes Paul, that was sooooo cool!" THAT is how they suck money off you..... plot-revealer friends.
now this topic isn't saying that American games and movies are trash and we should look to Japan for entertainment, Japan, games and cartoons in general, can be just as bad. If their cartoons are popular they tend to create an ENDLESS series, and if you miss one episode in one of the many looooooooooooong mini series you have no idea what the crap is going on and your friends (probably anime nerds) will say "Hey Chris, do you remember episode 629* (the episode that you missed) where hecto** turns into his zackerene form and defeats vigor?" "Oh yes Stan, that was a great episode! I feel sorry for the guy who missed that!" at this point in time you either stop watching the show altogether (which is highly unlikely if you have already dedicated your life to watch more than 600 dang episodes), continue to watch the crap, or if you're nerdy, watch the show until it reruns and watch the episode that you missed, or if you're REALLY nerdy buy the whole season on DVD and spend 36 hours of your pathetic life watching a stupid anime cartoon and its stupid episodes INCLUDING the one you missed. And it doesn't matter how crappy it gets, you're still ganna watch it.
* trust me when I say this 600 episodes in a anime series is the equivalent of 3 episodes of the super friends. Take Dragon Ball Z that incessant cartoon has been making.... Oh I don't know I would say 100,00 but even that seems flea-sized. And to make matters worse their still going! I think their huge collection of incessant episodes can be credited to their methods of showing you their crap. For example, this what a WHOLE episode will be dedicated to. Gokou: "HAH!!" everyone who is on gokou's side: "ahhh....."*stands there and shakes* "ahhhh....." *stands there and shakes some more* ahh.... *stands there and continues to shakes* (you get the point) Gokou: "haha! Now that I have powered up the super sayin 6,549 I can defeat you whirlpool!!" *15 minute fighting sequence of whirlpool getting his butt kicked* *whirlpool is on the floor about to die* Whirlpool: "uuhhg..." Gokou: "give up whirlpool, you have been defeated." Whirlpool: "uuhhg... heh heh heh heh heh" Gokou: "What?!" whirlpool: "HAHAHAHAHA! YOU CAN NOT DEFEAT ME! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" everyone who is on gokou's side: "ahhh....."*stands there and shakes* "ahhhh....." Now ONE episode was done.... Now throughout the 58 other episodes you get to see this crud repeated over, and over ,and over again, great huh? The way I see it, the Japanese are going to create episodes for their anime until Armageddon. My only hope is that this doesn't happen to you.
** I have a question... WHY IS EVERY CHARACTER IN AN ANIME SERIES NAMED AFTER A REAL-LIFE THING!!!?? I swear if you want to create an anime series of your own just think of an object (it doesn't matter what it is, it could be a unit of measurement, a car, a biome, a fruit, the skies the limit really) that would make a cool name like Decca, avalon, Papua, volt, it doesn't really matter as long as some of the obvious ones are spelled wrong or slightly miss-pronounced like dux, or floora, what-ever you can think of really. Don't worry, the characters image will work its self out if you think of a cool name.
games are a bit different. Although they make only 3 and sometimes 5 games if their lucky, they make them so long and "NEW FEATURED!!" and "TERRIFIC STORY LINED!!" that you say (in the words of the immortal Paul bunion from the movie American tall tales) does this story have a point? Or does it keep going on, and on, and on, and ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon like this stinkin' desert? Unless you are final fantasy which will, from the way their going, will continue to make final fantasy games until judgment day. i.e.... it keeps going on, and on, and on, and oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon like this stinkin' desert.
I think you see where I'm coming from with this, most of today's media is centered around making games, movie and cartoons suck so bad. That we aren't aware that the "man" is sucking our brains out so that we can spend oodles of cash on their products, I think it's because the economy is screwed up.... But then again, this stuff was popping up even before we elected dubya. In conclusion some anime may suck.... but it's the people who contribute to it by watching it that make it suck even more.
this is must signing out.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
My very own bad candy experience
Not too long ago I rediscovered a great site called bad-candy.com, it's really a funny site that talks about bad candies from all over the world. What I found out was that most of the bad candies were from Mexico. I tried to find some potential candidates, but to no avail. When I was right about to give up, my mom presented 2 candies (both from the same company) that from first glance, looked like possible nightmares.
Pay attention to this label, notice the $.99 sign on the left. What this means is, " Look, you spent 99 cents on candy from a country whose peso is equivilent to 9 cents in America, how good can this be?" Oh how right you are label, how right you are.
El Charrito snacks, aka candy from hell
These two little devil's treats were named "Rellerindos" and "Pulparindo". Let's start with Rellerindos. To be quite frank this candy wasn't that bad, the calm before the storm you might say. I mean, don't get me wrong this candy was still terrible; what I'm saying is, if you get past the hot/sour pungency that plagues your mouth, it's actually pretty good. I think the most discouraging thing about this candy is what it looks like. As you will see from the second picture below, the candy resembles fossilized cat geish. This makes me question why the mascot is so happy. I mean, just look at him... he looks like someone who just took a dump after hours of constipation. Either that or he is smiling because you are eating a 50 year old turd. Rellerindos mascot: "Ahhhhhh..... Man what did I eat....matza with extra sharp cheddar?" "I feel ten pounds lighter." "In fact, I feel great! I feel like I could pose for a candy product!" Yeah I bet you do you dirty little turd.
what the crap is this stupid mascot supposed to be?!
tell me what this looks like and I'll tell you what it tastes like
When I popped this bad boy into my mouth, I was overtaken by a huge blast of sour/bitter
flavor. Me: "ahhhhhhhhh! *ack* (falls on the floor) *light breathing* can't mooooove..... light faaa..... wait a sec...... This isn't that bad."
I'm a very big fan of sour candy. And eating this thing was like a n answer to a prayer. But, that was before I was surprised by something that burned. I'm still not sure what the crap it was. It was like someone put bleach in my mouth. The roof my mouth felt like it was being scraped by those hooky things that the dentist uses on your teeth. My tongue was void of any tasting ability. And then came the worst part... the gooey center. I think that when they were tuning this into mummified crap they forgot a few centuries. So I was left with a viscous brown sour/burning caramel that was attacking my taste buds, turning them into grey plastic bags of nothingness. That was enough, I ran to the bathroom and spit out the reconstituted poo that was festering in my mouth. After a few rinses with water, and a few minutes to recover, I opened up the bag to the next bad candy; this one ten times worse than Rellerindos... Pulparindos.
Behold Pulparindos. Truly the candy of El Diablo himself. I swear I would rather have eaten 8,475 Rellerindos than this crap. To get a real, full blown taste of this horror, I had to bite off pieces of this crap 2 times. One thing you notice when you bite into this is the texture. I swear this crud would have been 6 times better than what it was when I bit into it if it didn't feel like biting into sand! You can feel the individual crystals rubbing against your teeth and scratching themselves on your bicuspids! In fact now that I think about it, I don't think this is a candy at all. It's a primitive form of a tooth-brush! All the salt and scratchy sand-like grains are enough to compete with a full dental cleaning. Think about it, half of Mexico is poor right? Kids can't afford to go to dentists and rinse with fluoride after brushing their teeth with toothpaste. They don't have the money. That's where Pulparindo comes in, you get 5 of these suckers for only 99 cents (11 pesos). Every night for five days the kids chew these guys, and rub them against their teeth. Simple. And its flavor is the popular flavor in Mexico as well, chile with tamarind, the equivalent of the ever so poular bubble gum flavor in the U.S. Now that I'm done unveiling the truth of this dental bar, let me describe the taste. Pulparindo, as I have said earlier, has a tamarind, chile flavor to it. Now I like tamarind, I grew up with it, and since I'm from New Mexico, I like chile. But GOD WHY CHILE AND TAMARIND TOGETHER!?! When I bit into it I chewed it for a second or two and had the taste of the deadly combination hit my mouth. I soon after spit it out. But Pulparindo is a clever foe. It doesn't go away, it worsens on your pallet and has you screaming, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sweet mother of god its in me!" I ran to the sink and rinsed my mouth out with water and basked in the glory of a clean mouth.
pulparindo, so bad, no country would make it but Mexico
I have no idea what this white stuff is supposed to be.... Maybe it's
better that way
If you have been inspired by this post as I was by bad-candy.com to eat a bad candy and are having trouble finding them, here are a few tips to finding some.
Gas stations are a good start, they have a special little section if I'm not mistaken that is usually behind the American sugar bombs you grew up with.
Walmart..... Need I say more?
Belive it or not i got my bad candy from Walgreens. But that is probably because I live in the Southwest.
If you still can't find any.... tell your friends that you snapped and want to try some unusal foriegn candy (there are also a few bad American candies out there). Tell them the next time they see one of those specialty foreign grocery stores to look for potentially nasty treat grenades
Hope my tips came in handy this is Must, signing out.
Pay attention to this label, notice the $.99 sign on the left. What this means is, " Look, you spent 99 cents on candy from a country whose peso is equivilent to 9 cents in America, how good can this be?" Oh how right you are label, how right you are.
El Charrito snacks, aka candy from hell
These two little devil's treats were named "Rellerindos" and "Pulparindo". Let's start with Rellerindos. To be quite frank this candy wasn't that bad, the calm before the storm you might say. I mean, don't get me wrong this candy was still terrible; what I'm saying is, if you get past the hot/sour pungency that plagues your mouth, it's actually pretty good. I think the most discouraging thing about this candy is what it looks like. As you will see from the second picture below, the candy resembles fossilized cat geish. This makes me question why the mascot is so happy. I mean, just look at him... he looks like someone who just took a dump after hours of constipation. Either that or he is smiling because you are eating a 50 year old turd. Rellerindos mascot: "Ahhhhhh..... Man what did I eat....matza with extra sharp cheddar?" "I feel ten pounds lighter." "In fact, I feel great! I feel like I could pose for a candy product!" Yeah I bet you do you dirty little turd.
what the crap is this stupid mascot supposed to be?!
tell me what this looks like and I'll tell you what it tastes like
When I popped this bad boy into my mouth, I was overtaken by a huge blast of sour/bitter
flavor. Me: "ahhhhhhhhh! *ack* (falls on the floor) *light breathing* can't mooooove..... light faaa..... wait a sec...... This isn't that bad."
I'm a very big fan of sour candy. And eating this thing was like a n answer to a prayer. But, that was before I was surprised by something that burned. I'm still not sure what the crap it was. It was like someone put bleach in my mouth. The roof my mouth felt like it was being scraped by those hooky things that the dentist uses on your teeth. My tongue was void of any tasting ability. And then came the worst part... the gooey center. I think that when they were tuning this into mummified crap they forgot a few centuries. So I was left with a viscous brown sour/burning caramel that was attacking my taste buds, turning them into grey plastic bags of nothingness. That was enough, I ran to the bathroom and spit out the reconstituted poo that was festering in my mouth. After a few rinses with water, and a few minutes to recover, I opened up the bag to the next bad candy; this one ten times worse than Rellerindos... Pulparindos.
Behold Pulparindos. Truly the candy of El Diablo himself. I swear I would rather have eaten 8,475 Rellerindos than this crap. To get a real, full blown taste of this horror, I had to bite off pieces of this crap 2 times. One thing you notice when you bite into this is the texture. I swear this crud would have been 6 times better than what it was when I bit into it if it didn't feel like biting into sand! You can feel the individual crystals rubbing against your teeth and scratching themselves on your bicuspids! In fact now that I think about it, I don't think this is a candy at all. It's a primitive form of a tooth-brush! All the salt and scratchy sand-like grains are enough to compete with a full dental cleaning. Think about it, half of Mexico is poor right? Kids can't afford to go to dentists and rinse with fluoride after brushing their teeth with toothpaste. They don't have the money. That's where Pulparindo comes in, you get 5 of these suckers for only 99 cents (11 pesos). Every night for five days the kids chew these guys, and rub them against their teeth. Simple. And its flavor is the popular flavor in Mexico as well, chile with tamarind, the equivalent of the ever so poular bubble gum flavor in the U.S. Now that I'm done unveiling the truth of this dental bar, let me describe the taste. Pulparindo, as I have said earlier, has a tamarind, chile flavor to it. Now I like tamarind, I grew up with it, and since I'm from New Mexico, I like chile. But GOD WHY CHILE AND TAMARIND TOGETHER!?! When I bit into it I chewed it for a second or two and had the taste of the deadly combination hit my mouth. I soon after spit it out. But Pulparindo is a clever foe. It doesn't go away, it worsens on your pallet and has you screaming, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sweet mother of god its in me!" I ran to the sink and rinsed my mouth out with water and basked in the glory of a clean mouth.
pulparindo, so bad, no country would make it but Mexico
I have no idea what this white stuff is supposed to be.... Maybe it's
better that way
If you have been inspired by this post as I was by bad-candy.com to eat a bad candy and are having trouble finding them, here are a few tips to finding some.
Gas stations are a good start, they have a special little section if I'm not mistaken that is usually behind the American sugar bombs you grew up with.
Walmart..... Need I say more?
Belive it or not i got my bad candy from Walgreens. But that is probably because I live in the Southwest.
If you still can't find any.... tell your friends that you snapped and want to try some unusal foriegn candy (there are also a few bad American candies out there). Tell them the next time they see one of those specialty foreign grocery stores to look for potentially nasty treat grenades
Hope my tips came in handy this is Must, signing out.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Theories 2
It's the confusing things in life that make a guy just think. Like, why good series always end up becoming stupid franchises? Why do weird people have some sort of fascination with monkeys? Why does everything have to be politically correct? Why is it that whenever I eat cheese my moustache smells bad? These things I can only speculate at. Like question number one, pokemon (both cartoon and game), Suikoden, Mario, final fantasy, and DBZ used to be really cool. That was until the C.R.A.B game syndrome took their lives. In case you don't know, C.R.A.B stands for
crappy Ridiculous And Bench-warmer-for-other-games..... C.R.A.B
what C.R.A.B game syndrome does is make your series that has become really popular suddenly become crappy sell-outs that people in chat rooms and blogs (this one included) complain about but still play it because in their minds and deep subconscious, they have this tiny shimmer of hope that maybe your series will heal it's self of the C.R.A.B game syndrome and become the once popular franchise that they were once before. Now that I think about it, I think its mostly RPGs that become victims of the C.R.A.B game syndrome. I mean until 7, final fantasy used to be fun, and interesting...... Now I'm not a big RPG fan (I've only played like 5), but it just breaks my heart to see a good series go to waste like this..... Oh well. To make sure you don't fall victim to these crappy games I have created a list of things that will indicate if it will take your soul to the deepest parts of the underworld.
Great graphics: if this appears, drop the game, no questions asked. This translates that they made a game that was so crappy, they didn't know what good points there were... So they picked their C to C+ graphics.
Interesting fighting interface: this pretty much means that your characters can do these wacko combo/dual moves that aren't necessary.
lush (or any other adjective that expresses a positive feeling) landscapes: this translates to.... "Look, we spent hundreds of dollars on making this game feel more realistic that we forgot pretty much everything else."
Exclamation points: if any game puts an exclamation point on any of the above (or any other features for that matter) it's a lame game grenade... DO NOT buy this game unless you are absolutely sure this game will be good...... Which it probably won't.
for question 2 and 3.... I just guess monkeys and weird people go together like P.B and J. The answer for question 3 isn't much of an answer so much as it is a complaint. Why, just a couple of weeks ago we got a book for my baby niece. We got her the old lady who swallowed a fly. We all know how the story goes.... Some old lady swallows a fly, then a spider, then a bird, a cat, a dog, a goat, and a horse. Now they changed a few things here, in the end they write "I know an old lady who swallowed a horse... She's dead of course." and when she swallowed a dog it said " I know an old lady who swallowed a dog.... What a hog to swallow a dog." instead of she's dead of course, they put "she's full of course" and something like " what a job to swallowed a dog." ME: what? Hold on a sec, *mumble* *mumble* I know an old lady who... *mumble* dog..... horse... She's full of course? What? What a rip off. This is the "politically correct" old lady who swallowed a fly. Apparently families or these radical right wing lawyers thought that calling an old lady hog for swallowing a dog is some how insulting old, overweight, crazy grannies that's insulting old people, fat people, and mentally challenged people right there. My answer to that.... If I ate 15 steaks and 10 supersized french fries, you would call me a hog and I'm pretty sure that equals the weight of a small dog which is what the old bag ate. What I'm trying to get to is that if someone eats something that is bigger than your head after eating a cat, spider, and fly and has enough room for a goat and horse I'm pretty sure it fits the bill quite nicely for hog, no matter what race, age, religion, defect, or disease you happen to be, imma ganna think your a hog. LAWYER 1: hey Steve, have you read the old lady who swallowed a fly? LAWYER 2: you mean that nursery rhyme about that old retard lady who couldn't control her brain and ate enough animals to make the animal rights activists litch her? LAWYER: 1 that's the one. Did you know that they said that she was a hog for swallowing a dog? LAWYER 2: really? LAWYER 1: and that she died after eating a horse? LAWYER 2: the politically incorrect brigands*!! LAWYER 1: I know!! LAWYER 2: do you know how much moola we could make off of this?! LAWYER 1: $5,000,000, I took the liberty in checking. LAWYER 2: excellent! Wouldn't Cheney be proud!
*brigands, a bandit operating in wild or isolated terrain, usually as a member of a roving band
it's sad that we live in a world where if you draw a picture of a skinny Mexican guy in taco bell, you'll be sued thousands if not millions of dollars and trigger a national crisis that will pop up on every news channel. Did you know McDonald got sued for making their coffee (I kid you not) TOO hot? Really. I mean it. go google it I swear. Really, are people dumb enough to think that coffee is an iced beverage and should be chuged down as such? GUY BEHIND COUNTER: hi welcome to McDonald can I take your order? COSTUMER: yeah I'll take some hash browns, an egg mc muffin, and some coffee.
(guy sits down...) GUY: ahhhhhhh a coffee and a hash brown, what more could one want.. (chugs coffee down) GUY: ....... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! *gasp* *gasp* *gasp*.... HOW DARE THEY MAKE THEIR COFFEE THIS HOT!! I'M GOING TO SUE THESE JERKS TO NEXT SUNDAY!! What, your brain is very small? Your very stupid? Coffee isn't supposed to be hot? I swear, I think if any one had enough common sense in this world, they would SIP the coffee, and know that it's too trashing hot to down like iced tea. It's sad.
this is must singin.... Oh wait I forgot... Last question.... Why whenever I eat cheese my moustache smells bad... Well I think it's because the oils from it stick themselves to the tiny little spears that my moustache hairs have been known to be called and rot there... Simple.... No I'm not crazy.
this is Must singing out.
crappy Ridiculous And Bench-warmer-for-other-games..... C.R.A.B
what C.R.A.B game syndrome does is make your series that has become really popular suddenly become crappy sell-outs that people in chat rooms and blogs (this one included) complain about but still play it because in their minds and deep subconscious, they have this tiny shimmer of hope that maybe your series will heal it's self of the C.R.A.B game syndrome and become the once popular franchise that they were once before. Now that I think about it, I think its mostly RPGs that become victims of the C.R.A.B game syndrome. I mean until 7, final fantasy used to be fun, and interesting...... Now I'm not a big RPG fan (I've only played like 5), but it just breaks my heart to see a good series go to waste like this..... Oh well. To make sure you don't fall victim to these crappy games I have created a list of things that will indicate if it will take your soul to the deepest parts of the underworld.
Great graphics: if this appears, drop the game, no questions asked. This translates that they made a game that was so crappy, they didn't know what good points there were... So they picked their C to C+ graphics.
Interesting fighting interface: this pretty much means that your characters can do these wacko combo/dual moves that aren't necessary.
lush (or any other adjective that expresses a positive feeling) landscapes: this translates to.... "Look, we spent hundreds of dollars on making this game feel more realistic that we forgot pretty much everything else."
Exclamation points: if any game puts an exclamation point on any of the above (or any other features for that matter) it's a lame game grenade... DO NOT buy this game unless you are absolutely sure this game will be good...... Which it probably won't.
for question 2 and 3.... I just guess monkeys and weird people go together like P.B and J. The answer for question 3 isn't much of an answer so much as it is a complaint. Why, just a couple of weeks ago we got a book for my baby niece. We got her the old lady who swallowed a fly. We all know how the story goes.... Some old lady swallows a fly, then a spider, then a bird, a cat, a dog, a goat, and a horse. Now they changed a few things here, in the end they write "I know an old lady who swallowed a horse... She's dead of course." and when she swallowed a dog it said " I know an old lady who swallowed a dog.... What a hog to swallow a dog." instead of she's dead of course, they put "she's full of course" and something like " what a job to swallowed a dog." ME: what? Hold on a sec, *mumble* *mumble* I know an old lady who... *mumble* dog..... horse... She's full of course? What? What a rip off. This is the "politically correct" old lady who swallowed a fly. Apparently families or these radical right wing lawyers thought that calling an old lady hog for swallowing a dog is some how insulting old, overweight, crazy grannies that's insulting old people, fat people, and mentally challenged people right there. My answer to that.... If I ate 15 steaks and 10 supersized french fries, you would call me a hog and I'm pretty sure that equals the weight of a small dog which is what the old bag ate. What I'm trying to get to is that if someone eats something that is bigger than your head after eating a cat, spider, and fly and has enough room for a goat and horse I'm pretty sure it fits the bill quite nicely for hog, no matter what race, age, religion, defect, or disease you happen to be, imma ganna think your a hog. LAWYER 1: hey Steve, have you read the old lady who swallowed a fly? LAWYER 2: you mean that nursery rhyme about that old retard lady who couldn't control her brain and ate enough animals to make the animal rights activists litch her? LAWYER: 1 that's the one. Did you know that they said that she was a hog for swallowing a dog? LAWYER 2: really? LAWYER 1: and that she died after eating a horse? LAWYER 2: the politically incorrect brigands*!! LAWYER 1: I know!! LAWYER 2: do you know how much moola we could make off of this?! LAWYER 1: $5,000,000, I took the liberty in checking. LAWYER 2: excellent! Wouldn't Cheney be proud!
*brigands, a bandit operating in wild or isolated terrain, usually as a member of a roving band
it's sad that we live in a world where if you draw a picture of a skinny Mexican guy in taco bell, you'll be sued thousands if not millions of dollars and trigger a national crisis that will pop up on every news channel. Did you know McDonald got sued for making their coffee (I kid you not) TOO hot? Really. I mean it. go google it I swear. Really, are people dumb enough to think that coffee is an iced beverage and should be chuged down as such? GUY BEHIND COUNTER: hi welcome to McDonald can I take your order? COSTUMER: yeah I'll take some hash browns, an egg mc muffin, and some coffee.
(guy sits down...) GUY: ahhhhhhh a coffee and a hash brown, what more could one want.. (chugs coffee down) GUY: ....... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! *gasp* *gasp* *gasp*.... HOW DARE THEY MAKE THEIR COFFEE THIS HOT!! I'M GOING TO SUE THESE JERKS TO NEXT SUNDAY!! What, your brain is very small? Your very stupid? Coffee isn't supposed to be hot? I swear, I think if any one had enough common sense in this world, they would SIP the coffee, and know that it's too trashing hot to down like iced tea. It's sad.
this is must singin.... Oh wait I forgot... Last question.... Why whenever I eat cheese my moustache smells bad... Well I think it's because the oils from it stick themselves to the tiny little spears that my moustache hairs have been known to be called and rot there... Simple.... No I'm not crazy.
this is Must singing out.
